"Help Me Help You" ApproachNov 21, 2025Happy Friday and welcome to post 3 of 5 on conversation starters we can have with Mom and Day about their estate preparation. Channeling our inner Jerry Maguire, help me help you is the theme of the day:“3. The "We Need to Help You Help Us" Approach (The Sibling Coordination Opener)This method leverages the fact that you have siblings and frames the discussion as a necessary, practical step for the entire family's coordination, taking the pressure off him as the sole focus.How to do it: Explain that having key information organized is essential for your family to act quickly and effectively to support him if he ever has an emergency.Opening Lines:"Mom and Dad, as your kids, we all want to be able to help you immediately if anything were to happen—even a simple trip to the hospital. To do that without chaos, we need to know who your main contacts are: who is your lawyer, your doctor, and where are key documents like your insurance and Power of Attorney? We don't need details, we just need a roadmap. Can we put together a simple 'Emergency Contact Sheet' together?"The Goal: It's a mission-oriented, loving request. It demonstrates collective responsibility and focuses on practical organization rather than financial specifics.”There is much to like about this approach, primary of these would be that this is about being an adult, not about amounts. The self-interest is rooted in practicality and responsibility (and a theme we consider often: harder now, easier later or easier now, harder later, take your pick) which should be well received.It’s hard to parent our parents, but as a Sandwich Generation, sometimes it needs to be done. This also reduces the parent-child dynamic and positions us more as peers (and reminder, we are supposed to be fully functional adults by now). Further, this maturity should be welcomed by our parents and give them the comfort that their legacy is in good hands.Help me help you move our family forward…
Happy Friday and welcome to post 3 of 5 on conversation starters we can have with Mom and Day about their estate preparation. Channeling our inner Jerry Maguire, help me help you is the theme of the day:“3. The "We Need to Help You Help Us" Approach (The Sibling Coordination Opener)This method leverages the fact that you have siblings and frames the discussion as a necessary, practical step for the entire family's coordination, taking the pressure off him as the sole focus.How to do it: Explain that having key information organized is essential for your family to act quickly and effectively to support him if he ever has an emergency.Opening Lines:"Mom and Dad, as your kids, we all want to be able to help you immediately if anything were to happen—even a simple trip to the hospital. To do that without chaos, we need to know who your main contacts are: who is your lawyer, your doctor, and where are key documents like your insurance and Power of Attorney? We don't need details, we just need a roadmap. Can we put together a simple 'Emergency Contact Sheet' together?"The Goal: It's a mission-oriented, loving request. It demonstrates collective responsibility and focuses on practical organization rather than financial specifics.”There is much to like about this approach, primary of these would be that this is about being an adult, not about amounts. The self-interest is rooted in practicality and responsibility (and a theme we consider often: harder now, easier later or easier now, harder later, take your pick) which should be well received.It’s hard to parent our parents, but as a Sandwich Generation, sometimes it needs to be done. This also reduces the parent-child dynamic and positions us more as peers (and reminder, we are supposed to be fully functional adults by now). Further, this maturity should be welcomed by our parents and give them the comfort that their legacy is in good hands.Help me help you move our family forward…
Happy Friday and welcome to post 3 of 5 on conversation starters we can have with Mom and Day about their estate preparation. Channeling our inner Jerry Maguire, help me help you is the theme of the day:
“3. The "We Need to Help You Help Us" Approach (The Sibling Coordination Opener)
This method leverages the fact that you have siblings and frames the discussion as a necessary, practical step for the entire family's coordination, taking the pressure off him as the sole focus.
How to do it: Explain that having key information organized is essential for your family to act quickly and effectively to support him if he ever has an emergency.
"Mom and Dad, as your kids, we all want to be able to help you immediately if anything were to happen—even a simple trip to the hospital. To do that without chaos, we need to know who your main contacts are: who is your lawyer, your doctor, and where are key documents like your insurance and Power of Attorney? We don't need details, we just need a roadmap. Can we put together a simple 'Emergency Contact Sheet' together?"
The Goal: It's a mission-oriented, loving request. It demonstrates collective responsibility and focuses on practical organization rather than financial specifics.”
There is much to like about this approach, primary of these would be that this is about being an adult, not about amounts. The self-interest is rooted in practicality and responsibility (and a theme we consider often: harder now, easier later or easier now, harder later, take your pick) which should be well received.
It’s hard to parent our parents, but as a Sandwich Generation, sometimes it needs to be done. This also reduces the parent-child dynamic and positions us more as peers (and reminder, we are supposed to be fully functional adults by now). Further, this maturity should be welcomed by our parents and give them the comfort that their legacy is in good hands.