This can be daunting, but we can navigate them well. So where do we begin? With AI, of course! ;-) According to Gemini (edited for brevity):
Approaching these sensitive topics with an aging parent requires respect, empathy, and a gentle strategy. The goal is to open a dialogue, not conduct an interrogation.
1 - Starting with My Own: Mom and Dad, I recently finalized a few things with my financial planner, just updating my will and setting up my advance care directive. It really got me thinking about how important it is for all of us to have our affairs in order. Have you ever thought about reviewing your documents or updating them to reflect any changes you'd want?
2 - Focus on Wishes, Not Wealth: Mom and Dad, with everything you've built and the amazing life you've had, I've been thinking about your legacy. For example, those old photo albums or your war memorabilia—do you have any specific wishes about who you'd like to have them? And what about your wishes for your own care down the road? It would give me so much peace of mind just knowing what you truly want.
3 - We Need to Help You Help Us: Mom and Dad, as your kids, we all want to be able to help you immediately if anything were to happen—even a simple trip to the hospital. To do that without chaos, we need to know who your main contacts are: who is your lawyer, your doctor, and where are key documents like your insurance and Power of Attorney? We don't need details, we just need a road map. Can we put together a simple 'Emergency Contact Sheet' together?
4 - Professional Third Party: Mom and Dad, my friend / advisor keeps reminding me that the tax laws or estate rules change all the time. It made me realize that even if your will is perfect, it might be worth having a lawyer or planner just do a 30-minute check-up to make sure everything is still set up exactly the way you want it. I'd be happy to set up the appointment and go with you, just to listen.
5 - Hypothetical Scenario: Mom and Dad, say in 10 or 15 years, you need a little more help with the house. What's your ideal scenario? Do you picture yourself staying here with in-home help, or would you prefer a retirement community? I know you have assets, but have you considered if your current savings are structured to support that choice? I'd love to know what's most important to you so we can help honor that vision.
This is a classic Harder Now, Easier Later or Easier Now, Harder Later trade-off. Let’s learn, let’s listen, and let’s help ourselves and our families move forward…